There's a scene in the Amelia Rose books that is one of my favourites. It's lunchtime, and a couple of Amelia’s friends are playing a skipping game. Amelia walks over and asks if she can play too. One of the girls looks at her and says, "We're playing our own game today." Taken aback by her response Amelia's cheeks grow warm, her tummy sinks, and a little thought creeps in: Maybe I'm not good enough. The sadness stays with her for the rest of the day until that night, when some gentle words shared with her earlier find their way back into her mind, and something inside her quietly begins to shift.
The next morning, Amelia still feels a little tender walking into school. But she's carrying something new inside her too, a quiet knowing that she still belongs, exactly as she is. When playtime comes around, yesterday's feelings rise up again the moment she sees the same girls playing. This time, though, she doesn't let the sadness take over her heart. She simply stands there for a moment, calmly watching all the other children play.
That's when two other children wander over and ask if she'd like to play with them. Before long, Amelia is running around, laughing, fully back in the swing of things. And somewhere in the midst of all that playing, she realises something rather important, yesterday’s experience hurt, and it made her feel sad, but it never once changed the truth of who she was.
I love this scene because it's a memory of my own, from a playground a very long time ago. And what I've come to understand, looking back, is that the moment itself was never really the point. What mattered was what came after, that a child (or a grown woman, years later) gets to remember that her worth was never sitting in someone else's hands to give or take away.
That's the whole reason I write these stories. Not so that children never feel left out, everyone does at some point, but so they know, early on, that a hard moment says nothing at all about their value. Their worth was never up for other people to decide.
If your own child comes home with a moment like Amelia's, there's a lovely question you can ask once they're ready: "What do you know to be true about yourself, even on the hard days?" It's a small shift, but it helps them to stay true to themselves, whatever the day brought.
With love, Donna Marie, Creator of The World of Amelia Rose
You might also like:
Amelia Rose and the Voice of Worry - a gentle story for young girls who carry worried thoughts, and the grown-ups who love them.
Receive Your Free Companion Pack - gentle activities and conversation prompts to explore feelings together.